Scholarship hell!!!

So i finished my finals!!! Yeaayyy!!! But somehow da feeling is just like...normal...maybe coz i wasnt really happy with my papers...

Da maths paper was really hard...Maths is not suppose to be hard...I was honestly hoping to do well for dat paper but i think my harapan dah hancur berkecai...I think this exam is da worst exam...Now, i'm starting to think of da possibilities of not going to aussie...Ye lah, macam mana nak go aussie if my results like shit...N i mean like shit tau...I know lah u ppl are thinking when i say like shit means i can still get B...But da truth is when i say like shit is like a C or a D...

N trust me, dats not enough to get into aussie university...Oh, n not only maths was hard tau...All da rest pon hard...Specialist maths tak payah cakap lah...I studied for it da day b4 exam...Dat one awal2 dah gone down da drain...

On the other hand, i'm gonna miss college...I cant believe its been a year...Dis was probabably da hardest year of my life so far but never will i forget da ppl i've met, da things i've learnt and da experience of it throughout da journey of being a college student...I'm gonna miss my classmates...

Another thing dat happened after exam was dat i had a huge fight wif my mom...On friday, after da paper, i went out wif farhah for lunch at klcc then met up wif ja, yunnie, kristin and haseena for shisha...My mom called and asked bout da astro scholarship...I was just simply whining to her dat i'm still malas then she marah me on da phone coz i was complaining dat i have to finish it b4 we go to bali...Then she sed dat if i tak nak go bali takpe...I was like WAT?! Are u kidding?! I didnt mention anything bout not going to bali...Suddenly je...

She sed dat she has a feeling dat i dont care bout da scholarship...Mmg i dont care pon...I admit...But i'll do it if u ask me to...Its just dat, i'd rather feel like studying coz i want to and not coz i feel like if i dont study, there are gonna be ppl coming after me...Its like i'm tied to someone...Dat's alot of pressure...Get it? hahaha..its ok if u dont, i'm just melepasing my emotions...

Then, i balik rumah, my mom like merajuk...She sent me a long sms bout y we couldnt go to bali any other time lah and all da other crap...I was like wtf? I was just whining...I didnt say i tak nak do da scholarship and tak nak go bali...I went to her room and confronted her...Suddenly, i started crying...It's like she doesnt understand da susahness of writing 4 essays especially, when i'm in da mood for holiday...We were shouting at each other like crazy...

But then, malam she sed sorry lah...Dat's wat i love bout her...She will always say sorry...NOT LIKE SOME ONE ELSE TUH!!! I pon cannot last an hour of merajuk wif my mom...My marah hilang quite cepat...I depend on her too much to marah her...I'm not da simpan marah type...

Mak ai!!! My post is bloody long...Sorry guyz...its been awhile since i last posted so macam all da perasaan collected jadi nilah...